As a blogologist, it is my duty to inform the inter-web of activities that not only are happening in my realm, but also the realm of celebrities. For those of you who are not familiar, Lindsay Dee Lohan (aka our BFFAE) has a birthday coming up July 2nd (eeeeeeeep!) and I need your help deciding what to get for her!!!! I know this is exciting America, but keep it in your skivies. I have provided a list of gifts that all seem like something Lindsay could use and most certainly does not have!!
(Lindsay - Over the Shoul.)
Gift #1- The Food Focuser.
It's no secret Lindsay has a short attention span, and a hard time focusing on the food put in front of her. She is a BUSY BEE! This way Lindsay can dodge those Anorexia rumors and really put her mind where her mouth is!
Gift #2- The Sam. Ron. Proto Type.
We have all been a victim of the Sam. Ron. Lin. Lo. breakup factor. I think this would really help Lindsay, and America, get through the hard times... and the recession.
Gift #3- Hangover Hard Hat
A picture is worth a thousand words... and well THIS would prevent...
THIS!
Gift #4- Boobie's for Boys!
Lindsay likes boys, but Lindsay also likes Boobies. I think this is a real winner of an option.
Gift #5- Vending Machine Dress
This is used as a form of protection in Japan. But I think it's a real get-a-way
from those paparazzi. They are dumb as bricks! And this way they can stay hydrated!
Gift #6- Finger Plates!
I think this will go along well with the food concentrator (Gift #1) option. Rehabilitation comes gradually, and this will be perfect for all of those fancy receptions she goes to. This way it just looks like a mini ring burger, and she can hold two glasses of wine still!
Gift #7- The "ME" camera extender!
This is pretty self- explainatory. No jokes about this guy.
(OVER THE SHOUL!)
HAPPY B-DAY LINZ!
-Lo.
LOL! That was hilarious. Thanks for the love on my blog. :)
ReplyDeleteAfter all these presents she will need her own show in Japan - or at least a few weird commercials. If Spinal Tap could revive their career in Japan, Lindsay ought to consider it, too.
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That's good stuff! I'll be by again for sure.
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I definitely want that hard hat for myself. Even though that one said she was narcoleptic on the front, it still gets the job done. I love your stuff, keep writing and I'll be back.
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Ah, the pride of Lon Gi-land...Perhaps we could combine her birthday and Mother's Day and give her a real mom. Ooooh! A swipe at poor Dina--who saw that coming?
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