This gentleman is pissed. He knows this shit just ain't for him. Furry top hat? No match for the glitz and glamour of a tiara. Bowties, not sparkly dresses? Send him to the T-ball field and make way for the ladies.
#5: Big smile, bigger hair.
Crying is for babies. You're so far beyond that ... by at least four years. So grin and show those pearly whites .... but don't let it be the focus of your face. That title should fall to The Hair, the most important part of your body. Bigger the better. Think: Amy Winehouse. You should be able to hide at least 4 toys in there. FOUR.
#6: Accessories are key
#7: When in doubt, rep your patriotic pride
#8: Pick a theme
#9: Don't listen to whoever tells you otherwise; the 80's aren't dead