Monday, July 6, 2009

Six Flags? More like NO flags! ... Or, Why Six Flags Sucked My Balls

Dear Six Flags Magic Mountain,

I wanted to like you. I really did! I have thoroughly enjoyed your other parks, namely Six Flags Great Adventure, your greatest park ever created, and also Six Flags New England, which was fine by me.

However, you created a massive FAIL with this one.

Let's start off with your lines. Yes, I am aware that large theme parks, especially on summer weekends, are bound to be crowded. But I think that you would save yourself from hearing a lot of grief from unhappy customers if you would simply shut the park off from additional guests when you reached capacity. FYI, 'capacity' is what I would call it when there is a minimum of 2.5 hour line for every. ride. in. the park. No, not just the mega coasters, every. ride.

Also- you're located in the steaming, baking California desert sun. Yea, I know- I can't blame you for that ... although a better real estate purchase would have undoubtedly been, say, ANYWHERE closer to the coastline. But I digress. Perhaps some water misters located strategically around the park (not just on lines)? That would be sweet. My overheating, aching, line-enduring body would sure enjoy that.

And, maybe your corporation should realize that when you charge 15$ for parking, and $30-$60 for entrance, you should cut the absurdly ridiculous price tags for cold beverages? $4 for a vending machine soda is highway robbery. $5 for a bottle of water is criminal. and $14 for a 'collectible cup' that has approx the same amount of liquid as a $1.99 7-11 fountain drink? I'm horrified. Horrifed!

Fun fact, 6flagz. Nay, pointer: If you have to employ someone to stand near the beginning of a line and hand out 'passes' to save your spot if you need to take a PEE BREAK the line is so long ... you should probably rethink your line strategies. Waiting 3 hours for a 30 second ride is sooo not rewarding, no matter how much I want to vomit and/or scream with joy whilst I'm riding.

Ugh, 6flagz. I wanted to have a fun day at your park. But you just did not cooperate! So, I will not be back. I hope you enjoyed my ticket+parking money. Think of it as a donation, 'cause I sure didn't get any of my money's worth.



1 comment:

  1. Yeah, those parks always suck unless you go in the fall when all the kids are back in school and it's not 100 degrees outside.