Today I would like to talk to you about a little thing I like to call "interests". Many of you have interests such as horse back riding, cooking, drinking, boche, scrabble in your moms high heels, taco tuesdays at Wahoo's, and other interests that go without saying. Well as I have said before and will say over and over again, Celebrities are people too. They have interests just like us. It is part of my "interest" to find a way to compare and humanize celebrities in order to relate to them, seeing that living in Los Angeles very much disconnects me with these other worldly creatures.
The story goes like this.
One day when I was scanning the book store for an apparent 'classic' that was recommended to me. It was entitled "Dewey, The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched The World". Refer to
A-1.
A-1
Shortly after discovering this novel, another book caught my eye something more fascinating and culturally in depth, something that would educate me on a topic that was foreign and completely irrelevant to my way of life, yet it intrigued me to a degree of which I can only demonstrate with a facial expression. The book was called "Stuff White People Like". See A-2
A-2
Now this got me thinking... If someone can interpret the most complicated of species... Caucasian's... then perhaps I can analyze the third most complicated of species, the CELEBRITY! If Perez can attempt, well by Godsakes America so can I.
The following are just a sampling of some "interests" I believe may be "Stuff Celebrities Like".
A. RELIGIONS ABOUT ALIENS.
Teehee. Tom Cruise ISSSS silly. He thinks:
No lie. Really. He does. So do other celebrities, Rule number one on the path to becoming a celebrity, get rid of this dude! ASAP! He sent other aliens to take over yours and Tom Cruise's body. SEE CELEBRITIES ARE JUST LIKE US!
B. CARS THAT MAKE YOU CRAVE A POP TART.
This is a car. Not to be confused with a Toaster. I don't know what kind of car, don't ask me. If I were to guess..hmmm I would imagine it would be called Christian Bales Vagine VM8. If you don't believe me that this car will also warm your ego waffles, take a look at the image below:
See Toaster.
The only people that would drive these are the shameless celebrities who have an ego large enough to make toast the same size. Yup.
C. DRESSING YOUR PET LIKE ANOTHER FAMOUS CELEBRITY AND OR FICTIONAL CHARACTER
This dog is dressed like Strawberry Shortcake. No it's not Halloween, no he is not FEMALE, actually. How about this PETA, how about you back off OBAMA for his fly swattage and get on top of the cruelty that is Paris Hilton.
DISCLAIMER: Not all things celebrities like are good. They also like fur, basketball and annorexia. See where I'm going with this?
D. PRISON BRACELETS
In the photo above is a demonstration of Lindsay Lohan wearing her jail bracelet around her ankle. I think this less a safety device and more a fashion statement. I mean Chanel thought so when she made these:
Thanks for this Lindsay. Thanks for this alot.
-Lo.
I wish I had invented Scientology! It's SO incredibly ridiculous, that I can't believe people live by its doctrines. I would be a millionaire if I had only thought it up first.
ReplyDeleteI would rather worship Paris Hilton's dog.